Sunday, November 22, 2009

Read my tits

You see that guy who walks down the street carrying the burden of perpetual guilt? Thats me. Guilt is my middle name.

What is the required etiquette when confronted with words like ; Juicy, Angel or Booty printed in bold cursive script on the seat of a tight fitting track pants which is attached to a female form?

Are you allowed to read it?

Will it be deemed lecherous?

Being from the printing industry , I read things. Its kind of an automatic thingy. There are no thought process behind it , its just a conditioning, almost similar to our other curious habit of feeling the grammage of the paper of any magazine that we read.You see that guy who is going orgasmic in that dentist waiting room with that Vogue magazine? Printer.

I read. I cant help it. Then I catch myself looking at the writing and realizing the area of hoarding. Instant guilt.Its worse when Iam with my wife. The chills have given me frostbites.

Then there are those T-shirts.




What do you do, Jack, what do you do?

I read. Then I start blushing.

Thing is I think I offend the wearer when I stop to catch up on my literary fix. This is what I don't understand. What am I supposed to do? Pretend that you don't have something interesting printed on your t-shirt and that your breasts are just incidental?

I asked my wife about this. Yes, Iam suicidal.

There was a drop in temperature and I think some parts of my extremities are cryogenic ally frozen.

Wisest thing to do will be to keep my eyes on the ground.

So I decided on the next best thing.

Dark glasses.

My question is not about why a woman should wear something like this if she doesn't want to be stared at. In fact I think women should be able to walk around naked ,if they want,without having to worry about how shes going to be perceived. The real question is why the fuck am I feeling guilty if Iam only reading?

I have been to a party once where a family friend of ours claimed that girls are asking for it when they wear mini skirts. I had to hold back my wife from ripping that moron to shreds. Question is, why does what a woman wear ,be about men?

You know what I think? Maybe I should keep my eyes on the ground until I learn to read the writing without seeing what its written upon. Then perhaps, they will not be offended and I wont be feeling guilty.

The question , my friend is, do you see words printed across boobs or boobs on which words are printed? Does boobs even figure? Is the boobs even there? See? Its a profound situation; almost religious.

I tried bringing this up with my wife. Yes, Iam persistently suicidal.

She felt that its not helping that Iam going over grounds that has already been overcome and covered. She feels posts like this may evoke some sniggers in some quarters but overall it just pushes back all what women have achieved in the last 100 years. To summarize, she is in fact telling me that Iam back on the couch for the next 2 weeks on the warrior diet; which essentially is how the Spartans ate, only in the night. No wonder the bastards were in a bad mood all the time.

Thing is; my wife is right. I hate to admit that. But once in a few years, she does stumble upon the truth and Iam man enough to give her the credit. Okie, I also like to have my meals on time.

So here is the Tys fact on the issue.

You could wear a abhaya and you will still be gaped at. You could wear nothing and you will still get gaped at. Gaping at women is some sort of evolutionary precondition hotwired into our genes; it has nothing to do with your clothes or lack of it. So you might as well use all that gaping and get the men to read something while they gape.

At least it will be an exercise for both our extremities. In short you make it educational. How else can you get a message across, when all else have failed?

This one kind of tells it all :



* all pictures courtesy of http://www.tshirthell.com/hell.shtml

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