Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Godless in the Gods own Country

You would think at this day and age, people would have evolved enough to move away from religion.

Come on, you have to be really stupid if you think that religion gets you closer to god.

Even if the version of the said god is of a big man in the sky who is partial to a segment of his creation, who is as sensitive to slight as a PMSing girl, who is jobless enough to keep a tab on if or not you have masturbated in the morning and who finds delight if his mad fans kills off some of his creations as a PR stunt to further his name.

Come on. Seriously.

Personally I am of the belief that believing or not believing in the existence of a god is not a necessary criterion for a human to lead a civilized, social life.

By no degree am I an atheist. I am whatchamacallit, a 'who gives a fuckist'.

But it wasn’t always so.

Few know that there was a time when I went in search of an external god and found myself.

I know. Anticlimax.

Sanyaas had caught my fancy. I must be honest enough to admit that the attraction was not due to any spirituality from my side (this is on reflection, though at that time I was under the impression that the brightness of the halo around my head was the reason why people couldn’t stand the sight of me). I was actually recouping from my stint with drugs during college days and like any scoundrels had only two refuges.

I chose the one that involved the least work.

Having crammed my head full of second hand versions of the supposed divinity, I thought I was on my way to becoming the next messiah.

The things people do for popularity!

So one day I found myself in front of an ashram, head shaven, waiting for the darshan of a lady who is called Amma and who hugs every single person she meets.

Why? Well, this was the only thing I could get at such short notice.

Now if you are familiar with religion, you would know by now that it’s an epidemic. Half the state of Kerala was there getting their share of hugs while the remaining half was probably at home enjoying their kappa and fish curry washed down with toddy.

Being a tad bit of a misanthrope, I find crowds unsettling. So I waited outside, until the hall became almost empty. Then, very self consciously ,approached this lady who sat on the dias, wearing a white sari. I couldn’t help noticing that she looked a lot like the maid we had when I was small, Kuttiamma. As I hugged her (again very self consciously), she asked me in my ear almost whispering: What happened to you, son?

It wasn’t a question.

I replied: Nothing.

Then she asked: What do you want?

I replied: To become one.

She told me to sit next to her on the stage. So there I was, sitting , very uncomfortably, along side the God woman and a sundry mix of some 10 or 12 other holy bunch from different sects.

I tried my best to look holy. This involved sitting cross legged, keeping my eyes half closed and ignoring the itch on my nose.

Thus I passed the next hour or so until everyone left. Since there was nothing much to be done after becoming a holy man, I continued sitting there ignoring the itch. I was startled to my senses by someone touching my feet.

I must have jumped about 2 feet while still sitting cross legged. I opened my eyes to find an equally startled man who must have been as old as my father still lying supine on the floor with his hands stretched reaching out to a place on the floor where my feet was about 2 seconds ago.

That’s when I left. I apologized to the man and left.

Who is the worshipper and who is the worshipped? Both are fools.

That in short was, my friends, one of the steps towards me becoming a who gives a fuckist.

But then who really gives a fuck?

6 comments:

sanket kambli said...

damn...he was at your feet..thinking you were some young-guru!!!

damn...now that I think about it..how easily people are exploited...

Jon said...

Just imagine yaar...if you had chosen to stay there...you ca could haave been someone like an Appa!! Giving Amma some company and reducing her work load...and all those obliging girls

That's surely one bad choice you made

tys said...

@sankoobaba: people are always looking for someone to carry their yoke...someone to blame it on or in some cases , give credit for...it kinda shows the built in insecurity that is being fostered by the religions...look up, look down, look within but never claim responsibility...coz u cant walk alone...such bullshit.

@jon : damn , i didnt think of that...knowing me, there would be a whole season 12 episodes of scandals for viewing pleasure in the youtube...imagine what fun.

Ariana said...

LOL..you are funny. almost like lewsi black..you should try stand up...you have an american sense of humor..

Anonymous said...

@ TYS

I am willing to believe that you have met amma but becoming a god man, naaaaaaaaaaa. You like masterbation and girls too much to become sanyasi. Good one TYS.
Or should I say good one BABA TYS. :)

HARRY

Anonymous said...

regardless of the reality that if they are not as well tight and you also also can region on them for just about any lengthy time period of your time and look great. along owning a solitary other, the loose classic brief ugg boots are males and ladies you can recognize them by the clear huge gap in between the boot along making use of the leg. Sometimes it appears that the loose boots are uncomfortable to stroll with collectively with not so fashionable because the tight affordable ugg boots.
It is well-known for leading quality, low price, rapid delivery truthful service. Based on these believes, uggs has become a worldwide name. Its reputation can be proved on a lot of fashion shows exactly where models show off their beauty, charm slimness on cheap uggs boots.
MY MOM PASSED AWAY WHEN I WAS 14 FROM SICKEL CELL ANEMIA. WITH MY FAMILE NOT Getting AS FINANCIALLY STABLE AS WE COULD BE Considering that THE Economy DROPPED I Think IT WOULD BE A HONOR FOR ANY One WHO Desires TO ATTEND THE INAUGARATION Must TAKE IT AS A Higher HONOR TO BE APART OF SUCH A HISTORICAL Event. I HOPE HE KEEPS HIS WORD IN Modify FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
Like denim jeans, sheepskin ugg boots had their beginnings numerous years back, lengthy prior to they became style elements. Originating economical below in Australia, Australian surfers have worn inexpensive ugg classic bootson chilly mornings heading out to catch an early wave for as significantly once more once once again as any can don't forget. acknowledged for generations by many names -- ugg boots, ugh boots, ug boots, uggys, uggs, winter season sheepskin boots, or merely as sheepskin footwear, Australians even now regard the trusty ugg sale for being like a excellent deal a component of Australian background and tradition as Vegemite, AC/DC alongside which has a slab of beers slung far more compared to the shoulder close to towards the strategy to a barbie in a mate's property,
Its enjoyable shopping via these virtual buying malls which have most of the product lines sold in standard shopping malls. UGG Traditional Cardy is one particular of the most affordable boots for our girls www.dalinsell.co.uk
groups. The principal materials and design has developed from a true industry research of thousands of womens actual words,
Be mindful by way of the merchant who may the sales pitch, ensure that the product has value for the [url=http://www.dalinsell.co.uk/]ugg Boots sale[/url]
wide market place, or you will will commit also much effort refunding purchases. Your jewelry would require to solve tough, use a need. Look cautiously inside your marketplace and what they are buying,cheap ugg [url=http://www.mpboots.co.uk/]cheap ugg Boots[/url]
boots, be particular if this new items fits their wants
This Sheepskin boots untrue from dual faced sheep gall. They are favorable excellent terminal loafing and are readily available connections a characteristic of shades for you to accumulate from. The latest Uggs outlet entails fur and bespoke buttons or buckles to truly set your outfit alight.