Sunday, May 29, 2016

Age aint no number..

Wife turned 42 today.

She seems ok with it. But you should have seen her when she was hitting 40!

She made the day look as if they had declared Trump as the American President.

At that time, I was making all the right noises and pouring forth all the required affirmation, but in my head I was wondering - what's wrong with this chick?'

I was 45 then, 5 years shy of 50. I didn't feel shit. In fact I felt great. Except when some girls called me uncle. I never understood the fuss. Age is just a number.

But today I get it.

I was sitting with my nephews friends and we had this conversation and it hit me like a ton of brick.

Okie it didnt hit me like that, it was more like a realization. Like the lifting off of a veil.

Of course age is an important factor for a woman.

Being born a woman means that you have fixed phases in life that will completely change everything about you. Age affects a woman.

First you have puberty, where you are introduced to your first period , which now defines 4 days of your life every fucking month. That must suck.

I once , rather foolishly, claimed that if you know that you are going to bleed for 4 days every month , then you will just learn to deal with it.


I said that.

My experience with a bleeding of any kind was hemorrhoids upon which my wonderful theory was based. It mattered not that it was a completely different exit path.

I slept on the couch for a whole month and my computer was taken away from me by my wife.

Then comes pregnancy.

Notice how I don't consider marriage as a defining phase in a woman's life.

That's because it isn't.

Pregnancy is. Childbirth is. Motherhood is.

It defines her life. It changes her life.

Then comes menopause.

So, you bet age is a fucking big thing for a woman.

For us? Until we keel over with the after effect of a bad life style, the maximum excitement is when we find a stray gray pubic hair.

Macha! I got white hair down there, da.
Fucker, you are getting old man
Yah, man.
Fuck, I need a drink yaar.
Fuck man, I haven't made my million yet.
What million da? I havent got a tattoo yet.
Lets get a tattoo.
Yeah macha, age is just a number da.

That's being men. We have no phases. Its great being men. That's why we have gays. Some of us just love ourselves a little more.

Getting hair on your penis is not a phase.

It doesn't change your life.

Nope. Shaving cannot be considered a life changing event.

I am sorry.

Fatherhood is an option if the woman lets you stay around. Trust me, we are on shaky grounds there.

The day they learn to change the tyre and get rid of the spider from the tub, we are going to be rather expendable.

So, like I was saying... age is not a number for a woman.

In between all those phases, they have to find their bearing in a man's world.

Every single minute of her life is defined by her gender or rather our versions of what a gender should be like.

Her dress , her work, her thoughts, her expressions, her priorities, her dreams, her ambitions everything is tainted first with her gender.

Its kind of stupid . No one should have to live like that.

My mother once said while I restrained my daughter from doing something. She said, ' Let her do what she wants now. As , a woman's freedom is inversely proportional to her age. '

You bet age is of concern to a woman.

So, happy birthday , my dearest friend. May you always have the freedom to be what and do what you desire.

May you never be limited, defined or put on a pedestal. May you be allowed to thrive on equal footing.

Keep shining as always.

You are loved. The lack of ties and expectations are the only proofs I can give.