Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Blow Dry

When you stepped out your door , did you notice that the welcome mat needed a dusting? That the air was a little balmy and that cute neighbour had left her bedroom curtains open ?

Of course you did. You are a man.

Then why is that the wife's new haircut or her new wardrobe , just doest fall under that amazing radar which never misses anything of significance?

Its a mystery.

Whats with these girls and their haircuts and their feeling if you fail to notice it? Whats the big deal? How is that in any related to how you feel about them?

Imagine this :

Rose after letting go the frozen stiff Jack from the wreckage , watching him go down into the depths....thinking ; Bastard, he didn't say anything about my hair!

Yeah, Yeah, I know. You are doing it all for us and that it is insulting and humiliating when it is not even given a nod of acknowledgement. I actually get that.

But seriously. Next time , just jump us.

We are men. Getting our attention is the easiest thing there is. Especially for a woman. Just drop a pencil and pick it up. There , you have attention.

Being in a relationship with a woman is like a game of chance. You should never let her out of your sight.

'Cause you will never know what she will go and do, which then you will have to spot.

'Do you notice something different?'

Fuck! You let her out of your sight!

Ask any man, there are few words that when strung together , can make a man sweat.

Others are,

We need to talk

Do you think I look fat in this?


Iam a middle child. I know what lack of attention can do. I had once, at a tender age of 10, ran away from home, leaving behind, on the writing table, a note to my mother expressing my despair of being an unloved , unwanted child. I spend the whole afternoon in the mountains around my house, heart aching with glee over the agony my mother must be going through. Towards evening, hunger drew me back to the house.

There were no worried crowds outside my house. In fact it was peacefully quite inside the house. I went in to find my mother taking a nap. I could faintly hear my brothers playing among the cashew trees in our backyard. My lunch was on the table , covered. My note still lay on the table , unread. So I did the only thing that was left for me to do. I picked up the letter, tore it up and threw it in the kitchen stove fire. Then I sat down and had lunch.

Next time ,I decided, I was going to tie up and hide my younger brother in the mountains and leave a ransom note . Then become the hero by bringing him back home after about 2 days.

Attention, I had decided, needs drama.

So if its a haircut. Go full out. Make a statement. I promise you, we will notice.

What I dont understand is this. This is for you men out there.

When was the last time you had your woman say something on the line of , 'hey, you are looking way too cool in that suit babe' or ' I love what you have done with your hair' ? When has anyone told you why she is with you or why she agreed to have your baby?


Thats what I thought.

So, are you losing any sleep over it? Do you think she loves you lesser because she never says it?

Yeah, that's what I figured.

Then Why? I ask, why do you doubt our intentions, due to our inability to verbalize our feelings for you?

Don't you understand that the reason we don't notice the smaller , subtle things you do is because we are caught up in the glare of the larger you?


Dr Roshan R said...

sigh... i would love to hear the women commenting below me try to defend themselves here..

P.S. Just guessing, but you end upsleeping on the couch a lot, doncha ? :D

eunoia said...

u write awesome tys and i louuuuu this post :)

Madhumita said...

Sure we would tell you how cool you looked ... if it applied. Unless the fluctuating paunch size and varying degrees of baldness need a 24/7 watch. I can oblige if it makes you feel better.

Btw, the haircut and the new wardrobe didn't go unnoticed. Not talking about you of course. Where we live, there IS more than one neighbour.

Keep this up Tys. Keep this up.

humbl devil said...

the tragedy of the middle child...
am one too..though i never ran away...:D
R.I.P. brother...:P

you just assassinated the guy...with words...;)

Poornima said...

@M-Im doing the twirly-bowy-standing-ovation thing. Well said. Eloquence apart, that was 'Drawn & Quartered' in all its dignified glory. & if you ask me, 'there IS more than one neighbour' deserves a good old fashioned gold medal.

Kept our noses intact, you did, girl.

@Tys-...and you were/keep saying???

:-) :-)

Tys on Ice said...

@Roshan: surprisgnly not many has taken the response to ur second question; yep..a lot

@eunoia : u do? do tell me why.

@ mads : ouch...that was aimed about 5 inches below the belt..

@hmbl devil: thanks fellow regards to the assasination, she hasnt said anything different from what i have always said abt myself...learn this trick my man, pre-empt all possible insult upon u by insulting urself first..tht way noone can say anything abt u that u havent already told yrself first...not bad, eh?

@poori: I know...tht girl is getting i will have to step up on my act...i think its ur bad influence...but do observe that all that has been done is a smoke screen without addressing the real issue...women! you are trying to outwit the masters of smoke screen...this is war!

Anonymous said...

Its a simple thing buddy, we women in all our vain glory like to hear compliments, we like being told how pretty we are. Especially when we come back from a hair saloon plastered wall to wall with pictures of goddesses with golden tresses. Accept this - Husbands are tolerated so that they come in handy at times like this when our ego and self esteem can use a boost.

Tys on Ice said...

@anon : hahaha...its great to know that we have some wife says she married me to lift heavy things...

Hip Grandma said...

my son left a note for me to read in my purse and waited for me to read it when he was 10.Like your mom I never read it and finally after 3 days of eager anticipation he handed it over to me(It being a week end I hadn't opened my purse at all).All he got was a simple hug and a 'don't be silly' from me.

Now what stops you men from noticing our new hairstyle?You seem to notice every detail about the cute neighbor and the next door aunty.

Jules said...

Hmmmm.. what to write here.

Men may like the odd compliment every now and then, but women *need* them daily. And not just on what we look like, but on our skills, our drive, our determination, our mothering, our daily efforts to keep our family together and house clean. Those sorts of things. Compliments about how nice our hair looks go a long way. I do agree, though, that men shouldn't go unnoticed and be taken for granted. Everything in couplehood goes both ways. Even just a warm "welcome home, I know you had a hard day at work today" kiss would go miles for a guy, I suspect.

Tys on Ice said...

@hip grandma: that poor poor boy. In regards to your query, i think its becoz u tend to notice only those things that u never really not noticing is actually a shows that we are noticing u all the time, so the changes that occurs goes unnoticed, becoz for us u remain the center...

not bad, eh? u know i manage to keep all my body parts intact.

@jules: i still feel its rather one sided. iam yet to recieve any nice words abt the ear ring iam planning to have...not to mention that tattoo

Sonia said...

I think its because men get slower and slower in reaction time in direct proportion to the number of years they have been married. A newly wed husband would gush over everything his bride does while a seasoned husband of 10-15 years might not even bat an eyelid if you turn up home bald.

Everything is okay with this world because of us Tys. Just admit it :))

Sankoobaba said...

"Don't you understand that the reason we don't notice the smaller , subtle things you do is because we are caught up in the glare of the larger you?"

i said something like that once to my ex... not exact words..but yeah..

u made a good point...

Anonymous said...


My sympathy is always with you. :)
I liked your style, you spoke unwritten truth. Kudos dude.