Don't you just hate it when someone calls you and starts playing the guess who game?
On a good day, I don't remember names. The worst is when Iam forced to put a face on a name.
Parties are a nightmare. Apart from people I know intimately, names don't register. Wife says its because I don't care. Probably. But I think the reason is more simple. Its the drinks.
Its a total cut trip when someone comes upto you, while you are among friends in the midst of a great story that involves a stripper, your best friend and a hat, and starts indulging you in a full on conversation while you are trying to figure out who this intruder is.
You know him. He looks familiar. He seems to know everything about you. He even remembers your children's names. But you on the other hand could might as well be conversing with someone after a lobotomy.
You are now frantically looking for clues. You know that there will come a time when you will have to stop referring to his wife as wifey and his kids as kids ( does he even have kids?). Normally this is the time when I will do my distract and disappear act.
This involves grabbing my phone and saying "Oh Damn!" with a look of agony on my face and then rushing away from the scene leaving everyone confused.
Then I find my wife.
Does anyone really like going for these alumni get together? Whats with people and their intense need to connect with people from the past? Do you really want to know what that snot nose kid who used to sit behind you in class 5 is doing right now?
My school life acquaintances can be divided into two. Those who I have beaten up and those who have beaten me up. I don't want to meet either for good reasons. Nothing good is going to come out of it.
My problem is that I have studied in many schools. So I guess I haven't had the chance or the time to take any roots. Moreover I haven't felt the need to make any great friends. In fact if I strain my brain, I can remember only 3 names from my school. Joe : he was a good friend of mine and he was also related to a major crush of mine, Rekha : the crush , Leena : great legs.
Is it only me or are there more like me who has no sense of nostalgia? I mean I have had a great life so far. Nothing much to complain about. But I don't look back at my school years and sigh. Neither do I look back at any point of my life and sigh. Iam sure there are more like me. Nothing is more annoying than sitting around and reminiscing about a period of life that you no longer belong to. Do you too feel completely unattached to the person you see in the photos? Do you look at that image of yourself and see it as another? No nostalgia. Nada.
So if I cant even remember myself from those days how on earth am I expected to remember a voice from the past? That too after 31 years?
I had a call yesterday from someone who said that we were in school together and then goes : Can you guess who this is?
How on earth am I supposed to figure out who the fuck it is when the last I must have heard him speak , he definitely wouldn't have had a baritone?
Then comes those clues.
'Do you remember 'kelavan' ? ( the word is Malayalam for old man and therefore must be some one's nickname but I still have no fucking idea what he is talking about), I used to hang around with him.'
'Do you remember that I used to shove pencil up my nose and pretend to be a walrus?'
'Do you remember Gigi? I used to sit next to him in class'
WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Now, Iam a very polite guy. I don't like being rude. But there comes times in my life I feel compelled to let people know that they are beginning to seem like the ones who takes their mothers out on a leash.
Its 31 fucking years ago man. Gimme a break.
Whats stopping you from calling a person up and saying , Hey, this is Robin, I used to study with you in school. I got your number from Joseph and was wondering if we can meet up.
Was that fucking so difficult?
Or do you just happen to enjoy 20 questions every time you call someone on the phone? Do you seriously believe that the person at the other end of the line is jumping up and down with glee at the very thrill of finding out who he or she is speaking to?
Do you seriously think you are that important?
Introduce yourself. Each and every time. There might be people whose life doesn't revolve around remembering you. Have the courtesy to let people know who they are dealing with.