Sunday, April 1, 2012

Fazed Book

I should write a book on how to lose and repel people.

Just write about sex, masturbation and insanity.

I can almost see the tumble weed rolling across the ghost town this place has become.

You are so fortunate that I do this for the sake of it; otherwise I would have felt ignored and hurt. Imagine that!

I have been doing Facebook.

It’s a strange place.

People say the weirdest things.

They call it status update.

How many statuses does a person have?

Apparently a lot.

It’s like that river and you never step into it twice kinda thingy. Our status is constantly changing and the world now gets to hear of it.

Yippee.

I didn’t realize that status in Facebook means the state of your mind at any particular time. So in the beginning, I kept writing things like:

Married.
Not sure if I am still married.
Definitely married. I think
Not sure.
Yep. It’s confirmed. Married.
No longer.
Make up your mind woman!!!

Then I was told very gently that this is not what that space is meant for.

These things are difficult for me.

I look at it and I wonder, what do I say?

State of my mind?

I leave that blank.

Question.

When someone posts something about a child that is hooked up into various tubes? Isn’t pressing Like a little distasteful?

Yesterday, I saw this link someone had send about the funeral of that Tibetan kid who burned himself to death for his countries freedom. It had 39 likes!

These are nice people. Really. I checked. They care. Then what is that they liked about something as morbid as that? It’s a bit confusing.

Commenting.

My wife is worried about me ever since I signed up for this. There are these key words, if I see, that tends to make me go into frenzy. It’s like waving a bed sheet at a bull.

God, religion, soul.

I dont know why but I am then compelled to put in my 2 bit. And that will be the end of a beautiful friendship that has lasted more than two decades.

That’s the thing about Facebook.

These are people you know or who knows you or who know someone who knows you. These are the walking proof of the six degree of separation. These guys know you, they know where you live, and they know your wife, your kids.

It’s probably best you deal with them nicely.

But commonsense has never been one of my stronger suits.

Face book scares me.

But there is comfort in knowing the even the most stupid thought in your head, if put into words, in that little cyber space, will have at least one like.

There’s always someone who agrees with you in Facebook.

It’s a beautiful, polite, considerate world.

People are so politically correct there. I guess you will think twice before saying: Fuck you niggers!!! , when with a click of a button, someone can find out where you live.

It’s wiser to be nice and neutral.

Me? I can’t resist.

I find it hard to control myself, when that 43 year old cousin of mine repeatedly posts pictures of her posing like an 18 year old. I mean it’s her life but doesn’t it require an honest opinion? I mean isn’t it why she is putting it out there?

So who gets to say the emperor is naked?

That’s where I come in.

Oh, my cousin has officially unfriended me.

Fuck. That’s not even a word.

16 comments:

Jules said...

I recently unfriended my ex fiancee.. remember that guy? He insulted me on fb and I wasn't going to accept it. It wasn't the first time. But really... people take fb too seriously.

BTW, people really speak their mind more on twitter, and it's far less politically correct. That might be a better outlet for you. #justsayin

;)

Sairekha said...

Phase Book. I hoped it would be :-)

The Grunt said...

I was tricked into Facebook, thinking that it was just another thing that would keep my online activities fresh. But then my family and friends found me when it became the big deal it is now. I find that I am now trapped there, having to be somewhat well behaved.

tys said...

jules : never will i experiment with another technology again...iam done..these social network thingys are beyond me..how many people do we really need to know for us to feel alive?...i think i will be unfriended by a lot of people soon, so things are actually great..shud i link this post to my FB page?


sai: It shud be Fakebook..the truth is people seem to be more kinder, more happier, more active, more beautiful, understanding , politically correct etc, on facebook...I mean, i know some of these guys...they are the pettiest, meanest, arseholes I know..I shud know, they are my friends...so it is wierd when I see this posturing...i totally get the part of each to themselves part...but it takes a lot of effort for me not to put my 2 bits in.

grunt : the cruelty!!! i bet they dont even know you as your alter ego grunt..thank god, we still got our lil space in the cyber space, where we can still play with our capes and masks.

Jules said...

I feel exactly the same as you about FB, Grunty.

Arunima said...

very good post. And I am also well behaved there. So, I love blogs more. The only problem is i deactivate my facebook account just to get back again after a couple of months.

Sanket Kambli said...

its just timepass. nothing there to take seriously..
unless you are looking to have frandship with a cutie..

abhilasha said...

Very well said!! I have made an account recently.. N still not very sure about the protocols... I published my CAT score and started discussing wid other frds.. Immediately they called me up and said " yar hamare score mat daal, sab padh lenge" it's suppose to be in message not in wall posts section... I was like big deal... Fail hi to huye hain.. But den I did wat they asked me to..
Worst is wen my brother is in my frd list... Any status update that doesn't go down well wid him.. He calls me up and ask me " ye kya kya likhti hai tu, r u ok... Main aaun kya... U need help " n I m like buzz off brother ...
Fb and it's never ending stories

tys said...

arunima : i too did this fb suicide once when i realized that i dont know 80% of the people on my friend list...i felt it was rude not to confirm when they send request..i had to get back because this site for which i write articles for, said that its advisable if i have a fb account...but iam too old for being nice for the sake of it

@sanket : u can actually do that? but wont it be a lot like having sex with a stranger in your house in the living room during a family gathering?

abhilasha : go for it woman! its your page...but living in a glass house does necessitate a bit of discretion.

Sairam said...

i drop in here frequently to catch on your new posts.
It's a month and half since there has been any update.
Pleeeeassseee do post...

tys said...

sairam, your wish is my command

Anonymous said...

@ TYS

I'm thinking about joining the face book, about your cousin, Does she by any chance look like you or does she look like CHECHI. :)

HARRY

tys said...

shes family, harry.

Anonymous said...

@ TYS

I'm just joking, don't take it seriously dude.

HARRY

BTW Did you get the email I sent you.

tys said...

harry, my man, i wasnt being anything. Just stating a fact ؛‎)‎ got ur mail. U have made me dig deep to find the stuff. I will get it and mail it to u. Cant understand the interest, it is flattering but seems a lil machostic.

Aaina said...

hhaaa...Hadn't you Quite FB many years ago?
Its like a bad habit or Rash,,never goes away.