Thursday, March 25, 2010

More on knots..

People have often wondered why I incessantly talk about marriage.

Actually they don't ,but I would like to believe what I write here is read by millions ,sparking global debates and that there are millions waiting with bated breath about my wise opinions on current matters.

Truth could be less flattering, Iam sure. For all I know, Iam probably as insignificant as the blond pubic hair on the nonexistent panties of Paris Hilton.

Thing is, I have always felt that marriage is one relationship that needs tending. Every other relationship ,you are more or less stuck with irrespective of your thoughts or opinions on it.Friendship not included but see what can happen to that when you put conditions on it that needs your signatures. Marriage is a different matter all together. It requires constant shifting, nudging, positioning, pushing, pulling etc to finally find a comfortable coexistence.Commitment to a relationship does not need a law, it only requires a want. Marriage is , to me at least, a companionship made legal.

Theres something wrong with that.

The moment something like this is made legal or made to fit in with some rules and regulation, the whole thing ends up becoming a game.

A game you either win or lose.

I think this is why all most all marriages don't survive and the ones that does are the ones where one of the partner is beaten down to level of nonresistance or absolute indifference.Then there are the ones who has fought themselves to a stalemate, where theres a functional coexistence without feeling. The few that does blossom into beautiful relationships are the ones who don't care if they were married or not. The marriage is not their focus. The relationship is. Marriage is man made. Relationships are choices.

Marriage , like any law made by man has average people behind it. The reasoning behind any law is always fear. Let me explain how it all began.

In the beginning was our Neanderthal ancestor ,Err.

A handsome hunk of a specimen, who also towered 2 feet above his average male peers. He was the terror among the saber tooths to whom he became akin to a bogeyman when putting their long fanged cubs to sleep. It came as no surprise that he had the females of the herd (his own kind not the sabertooths', but it would not surprise me if proven otherwise) bending over backwards at the sight of him.Such was his stature among his herd that he, very obviously ,evoked intense jealousy and suspicion from his average brethren.

Since average is always the majority, one of the most average among the lot, who was known as Forr, who had the hots for a neanderthal lass called Eve, decided to call in the council of averages to protect themselves against the valour and might of Err and others like him. He had also noticed that its just a matter of time before Err notices Eve and then all will be lost for Forr who will then have to be satisfied with the pleasures that his opposable thumb can provide.

The council put their simian heads together and came up with the idea of marriage. This way their rights over their women was guaranteed .The majority can ensure that the rules of engagements are carried out by threats of punishments, outcasting etc. The average man does not have to compete with the alpha male nor the average female compete with super Eves. So who cares about the evolution and that the future generations will be spawns of averages. All Forr cared was for Eve.

Thus marriage was born.

Like the saying goes,

To Err is human but to Forr Eve is divine.


Nags said...

although put in a sarcastic way, gotta agree to your core point.

Ketan - said...


For whatever the reason marriage was made...

We should be thank ful that such law named as marriage was made..

By this atleast a man and woman can be loyal to each other and stop the dread ful disease which may crop up..

marriage has many advantages ... and only advantages...

it is only how you can take it and handle it with care like any other ralationship...

Sankoobaba said...

"I think this is why all most all marriages don't survive and the ones that does are the ones where one of the partner is beaten down to level of nonresistance or absolute indifference."

thats why i fear marriage...

"The few that does blossom into beautiful relationships are the ones who don't care if they were married or not. "

and I am not optimistic about such a thing happening..not in the arranged marriage part of this world...

it all seems like a gamble..

Jules said...

Quite interesting timing for this post considering I jut called off my wedding a few days ago and selfishly wonder if I can still maintain a friendship with him. If the word marriage wasn't part of the equation, I'd never have gotten scared off, never had the anxiety of long term committment... would have spent the last 3 weeks in joy instead of agony. Interesting, that fucking word... marriage.

pallavi said...

if there's no law, there would be chaos..I agree to your point anyway..I always thought, more than love it is getting along well thats more important..good one tys!!

rm said...

:-) that was a pleasant read.

Tys on Ice said...

@nags : thats what i core points.

@ketan : i have only one thing to point out; if it takes legal means to make a man and a woman to be loyal and faithful to each other, then we shud really reconsider this marraige thingy, dont u think? I dont think marraige has many advantages. You think it does becoz you are comfortable in it. If it never existed, you wouldnt even have missed it.The advantages that you see are the perks you get becoz you toed the line. Its all society handouts for going along.

@sankoobaba : hey, if you dont try it you will never know it...but i do think if you look beyond what marraige can give you, you will be fine. To define and curtail another human being in such a limited role is a lot like legal slavery. But if you treat the other like a good friend, appreciate the companionship and do away the expectations then I think it will go well....

tell me if it works.

@jules : Synchronicity. I dont really know why relationships have to end in a marraige...which is exactly what it seems to do most of the time. Iam sorry about your breakup.

@pallavi : thanks girl...but i didnt understand...why wud there be chaos without law? Truth is under the current scenario of human nature law is a requirement becoz it provides security...but the very fact that law exists shows us our own failing...the existence of law is our own failures jeering at us...

@rm : :)...just the sort of stuff that makes you smile, eh?

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Anonymous said...


I liked your explanation on marriage and relationship, but I like the idea of marriage, call me old fashion. Your meals are ready and your home is clean, and so forth....
you know what I mean don't you.

Does Paris Hilton really have blonde pubes? Just wondering.....