Snake in the Monkey's shadow.

There are things in the spoken words that I find irritating. Especially when its being used with reverence as some sort of answer to all problems.

Tolerance.

Be tolerant of another's belief, they say. Live in tolerance of others.

Iam tolerant of my cat. I come to nearly killing it when I find it has used my cupboard as a nesting, thereby turning all my black clothes into tweeds. Iam merely tolerating it until it completes another 7 years and die of old age. If it uses its 9 lives, Iam fucked.

To me tolerating means living with it despite not liking it (Dang, that sounds like most marriages). This is somehow supposed to be the way to be. What the fuck!

My theory is don't be tolerant. Don't tolerate me. Know that neither you are me nor me you . If you don't understand me or what I stand for, that's fine. Its natural. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. I don't understand you either. Iam fine with it. How about being nice to each other? How about ACCEPTING instead of EXPECTING?

Better, nah?

Compromise.

Whew, this one is really tough. I have seen this being thrown around all the time.

I cant stand my husbands side of the family. I think my mother in law is actually Indira Gandhi in disguise!

Compromise, dear.

Drunken husbands, cheating wives,conniving relatives...

Compromise dear, for the sake of the children.

Loss of individuality, depressions, feeling mired in?

Compromise , for the sake of stability.

Compromise.

You know the problem with a compromise? The problem still remains, only you have now from the role of a perceived victim became a martyr. Soon, you will need acknowledgement of your sacrifice. When that's not forthcoming ( why should it? since the problem is yours to begin with and the solution you have found is a burial of self), resentment will set in.

I have a problem with compromise.

I never compromise.

If it appears like I did, then I probably did it because the problem was bigger than me and I chose the chicken way out. I compromised because I had no other choice. I don't like it but I did it nevertheless. I don't expect a standing ovation for it.

Ideally, I think, there should never be a compromise in a relationship. Of course there will be. Its a relationship, nobody said it was easy. If you compromised for a relationship, then I will have to assume you did it because that relationship is important to you. But if that compromise is eating into you, building up as resentment, then you haven't compromised , you have buried. A compromise aims to beget a reasonably amicable solution for both parties. If its only amicable to one but not to the other, then its not a compromise, its a surrender of self for the sake of a respite.

In human relationships "compromise" is frequently said to be an agreement that no party is happy with, this is because the parties involved often feel that they either gave away too much or that they received too little[1].

Please , for heavens sake, don't compromise if something is important to you. Just acknowledge its importance in your life . That should be enough. There is more than enough guilt in the world as it is with out further additions.

You probably don't agree. That's okay. We will work out a compromise and be tolerant of each others opinion.

See what I mean? Ridiculous isn't it?

Anyhow.

Today I killed my facebook page.

Its actually pretty simple. They have a link ( google : Deleting Facebook account), where you log in your details and you are officially deactivated and after 14 days it no longer exist. Only hitch is that during this period, you are not permitted to go to your account. If you do, it gets activated again. Its a little like mercy killing. You are given a chance to chicken out.

I have never understood the reasoning behind letting the world know blow by blow account of your life. Then there are people you have avoided all your life wanting to become your friend. Yesterday I realized that I have more friends now than ever before and the worst part is that I don't even know most of them.

Theres a saying that an enemy of my enemy is a friend of mine. Here the case is any friend of my friend is a friend of mine.

How on earth is that supposed to work?

I really never did like Cobra ( I swear that's what he called himself. My college was a bloody zoo) . He could be St.Peter right now but as I recall him , he has made a girl stand underneath a rain water drain pipe in white salwar in the name of ragging. I refuse to forgive him. I know what he was when he had a chance to be different. He represents to me the staid, safe, docile society around me which turns into murdering, raping, mindless mob given half a chance.

He is not my friend but according to Facebook he is.

Hell, I cant even tolerate him.

Shot Nerves

The last week has been painful.

I had very kindly been the receptacle for an ear infection, donated to me by my son, which not satisfied by the damage it was doing there, decided to shift its focus to my middle ear and then take permanent abode in my facial nerves which resulted in a kind of pain , which can, I think, be described as having hot lead injected into my face; (not that I have had that done to me at any point of my life).

I can actually draw the position of all my nerves on the left side of my face. It ends underneath my second last molar on my left side which feels like a perpetual tooth ache.

Burning face with a tooth ache.

Its called Trigeminal neuralgia.

I have been showing off ever since. I have never had a disease with that many letters.

I don't think I have ever had this much attention since I broke my right fibula and tibia long time ago.

Theres nothing like good old pain to make you realize the futility of all preparation. Pain consumes you. Here are some of my findings found in the midst of pain.

- Pain lessens when one is held by someone you love.
- Pain experienced alone is frustrating and never ending.
- Here's the most pathetic truth : Another's validation or acknowledgement of your pain brings you some relief.
- Alcohol is a great pain reliever. Especially when administered orally.
- Pain brings out your innate emotion. Mine seems to be anger and sometimes laughter.
- Pain makes you realize how alone you really are.
- Pain makes you very appreciative.


All of the above are only reflections after the pain has receded. In its embrace, it consumes you. It brings you into a total focus of that pain. It is unrelenting. It makes you dance to its tune. It makes you smash the wall, it makes you want to curl up and cry.

Iam now on some very strong painkillers. Their effects last for a certain period of time. I almost feel like the incredible hulk. I know when the effects are wearing away and the next episode is going to start. I sometimes wait for it. Sometimes I let it come on thinking that I will able to take control of this one. I fall back on the pills all the time.

This got me thinking. Pain is a great deterrent. Iam sure we can find some practical application for it.

How about injecting a similar virus into the facial nerve of a person who wants to give up smoking or drinking or any such thing, which then will get triggered when one indulges in any of this. We will have to train the virus though. I wonder if we can genetically modify virus to do that. Iam sure we can. We do have evidence in the form of George Bush.

We can do similar thing to convicted rapist and paedophiles. Where they are in excruciating pain even if they look or think of a potential victim. Nah, on second thoughts, we should let the victims decide their fates. Pain is too soft for these guys. Bastards may probably like it.

Anyhow.

The damn thing is going to be there for a long time. So I plan to get acquainted with it. Its easy to sit here and be very cheerful about it after being doped up with pain killers. Lets see how I feel in about 1 hours time when it starts to wear off.

That's another thing about pain;

It looses its edge in its remembrance.

Ask any mother.

Buy your own pack.

There are sheer moments of pure genius in religions that never stops to amaze me.

Today being one of those days when I have a little time in my hand , a smirk on my face and sheer evil intentions in my mind, let me burden you, my dear readers , with some of those characters who have changed the world and beyond with the most absurd of statements and had a whole bunch of idiots living and dying for it .

The 1st prize should definitely go to the chap who invented the caste system. Imagine the persuasive oral skill of the man to actually convince you to dig shit and then to make you believe that this is your god given duty to do so and finally to make sure that all your future generation does the same!

Give the man a standing ovation.

Then there is the bunch who is convinced that there are 40 virgins waiting for them in heaven if they strap a bomb and blow themselves along with some bystanders , if they call their insane activity Jihad.

Come on, this deserves the wave. All together now.

It never fails to amaze me how stupid we really are. When I need some cheering up,I just open the first available holy book . For 100 great stuff it says, there will be 50 of the most stupidest statements ever in it.

Deuteronomy 20:10-17 "When you march up to attack a city, make its people an offer of peace. If they accept and open their gates, all the people in it shall be subject to forced labor and shall work for you. If they refuse to make peace and they engage you in battle, lay siege to that city. When the Lord your God delivers it into your hand, put to the sword all the men in it. As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves. . . . This is how you are to treat all the cities that are at a distance from you and do not belong to the nations nearby.

However, in the cities of the nations the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance, do not leave alive anything that breathes. Completely destroy them—the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites—as the Lord your God has commanded you."

To think, we are supposed to worship this guy. Hell, Iam better than him. What the fuck, my English Teacher in school, Mr.Beal , is better than him.


Ephesians 5:22-24 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

Now, we are talking.

Manu 111.14 " A Brahmin male by virtue of his birth becomes the first husband of all women in the universe"

Fuck me blue! Blanket agreement! No wonder these guys loved to be Hindus.

Manu IV.206 ' Sacrifices performed by women are inauspicious and not acceptable to god. They should therefore be avoided '

I knew it. God is a MCP. Welcome to the fold, buddy.

( more here : http://www.bhagwanvalmiki.com/manu-smriti.htm )

Personally I think this post should no longer be valid in today's world. Today we all know that religion is a man made culture aimed to suit ourselves at that specific time. It gets scary only when it is prevented from evolving with the population practicing it. Today the above seems amusing and unbelievable, yet these were the codes upon which generations lived and died.

I think religion should always be about people. Not of an unknowable god. We have used that excuse too many times to justify all the crap we have done in the past. God didn't will jack shit. We did.

So today I propose to you a new religion.

I call it Tysism.

Its mine.

You go and find your own.