Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Snake in the Monkey's shadow.

There are things in the spoken words that I find irritating. Especially when its being used with reverence as some sort of answer to all problems.

Tolerance.

Be tolerant of another's belief, they say. Live in tolerance of others.

Iam tolerant of my cat. I come to nearly killing it when I find it has used my cupboard as a nesting, thereby turning all my black clothes into tweeds. Iam merely tolerating it until it completes another 7 years and die of old age. If it uses its 9 lives, Iam fucked.

To me tolerating means living with it despite not liking it (Dang, that sounds like most marriages). This is somehow supposed to be the way to be. What the fuck!

My theory is don't be tolerant. Don't tolerate me. Know that neither you are me nor me you . If you don't understand me or what I stand for, that's fine. Its natural. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. I don't understand you either. Iam fine with it. How about being nice to each other? How about ACCEPTING instead of EXPECTING?

Better, nah?

Compromise.

Whew, this one is really tough. I have seen this being thrown around all the time.

I cant stand my husbands side of the family. I think my mother in law is actually Indira Gandhi in disguise!

Compromise, dear.

Drunken husbands, cheating wives,conniving relatives...

Compromise dear, for the sake of the children.

Loss of individuality, depressions, feeling mired in?

Compromise , for the sake of stability.

Compromise.

You know the problem with a compromise? The problem still remains, only you have now from the role of a perceived victim became a martyr. Soon, you will need acknowledgement of your sacrifice. When that's not forthcoming ( why should it? since the problem is yours to begin with and the solution you have found is a burial of self), resentment will set in.

I have a problem with compromise.

I never compromise.

If it appears like I did, then I probably did it because the problem was bigger than me and I chose the chicken way out. I compromised because I had no other choice. I don't like it but I did it nevertheless. I don't expect a standing ovation for it.

Ideally, I think, there should never be a compromise in a relationship. Of course there will be. Its a relationship, nobody said it was easy. If you compromised for a relationship, then I will have to assume you did it because that relationship is important to you. But if that compromise is eating into you, building up as resentment, then you haven't compromised , you have buried. A compromise aims to beget a reasonably amicable solution for both parties. If its only amicable to one but not to the other, then its not a compromise, its a surrender of self for the sake of a respite.

In human relationships "compromise" is frequently said to be an agreement that no party is happy with, this is because the parties involved often feel that they either gave away too much or that they received too little[1].

Please , for heavens sake, don't compromise if something is important to you. Just acknowledge its importance in your life . That should be enough. There is more than enough guilt in the world as it is with out further additions.

You probably don't agree. That's okay. We will work out a compromise and be tolerant of each others opinion.

See what I mean? Ridiculous isn't it?

Anyhow.

Today I killed my facebook page.

Its actually pretty simple. They have a link ( google : Deleting Facebook account), where you log in your details and you are officially deactivated and after 14 days it no longer exist. Only hitch is that during this period, you are not permitted to go to your account. If you do, it gets activated again. Its a little like mercy killing. You are given a chance to chicken out.

I have never understood the reasoning behind letting the world know blow by blow account of your life. Then there are people you have avoided all your life wanting to become your friend. Yesterday I realized that I have more friends now than ever before and the worst part is that I don't even know most of them.

Theres a saying that an enemy of my enemy is a friend of mine. Here the case is any friend of my friend is a friend of mine.

How on earth is that supposed to work?

I really never did like Cobra ( I swear that's what he called himself. My college was a bloody zoo) . He could be St.Peter right now but as I recall him , he has made a girl stand underneath a rain water drain pipe in white salwar in the name of ragging. I refuse to forgive him. I know what he was when he had a chance to be different. He represents to me the staid, safe, docile society around me which turns into murdering, raping, mindless mob given half a chance.

He is not my friend but according to Facebook he is.

Hell, I cant even tolerate him.

11 comments:

Sankoobaba said...

i have seen people crib about facebook/orkut/twitter ... i love it...it does lead to many unanswered questions..but its a change that is good...
good post.. a crib but good one..

"How about ACCEPTING instead of EXPECTING?"

really loved this quote

Tys on Ice said...

@sankoobaba : I know wht u mean...it kinda works like those meetin points in the airport...ur lil space where u can be found...a lone beacon for kindered spirits to gather...but there are some among us who does not want to be found...some among us who may feel somewhat crowded...the solution is always simple..u can either choose it or reject it...which ever works i guess..

no copy rights on that quote...go ape over it :)

Sonia said...

Great post!! And I have seen that people who "compromise" do not hesitate to remind you a thousand times all thru their life of the compromises and the sacrifices they did for you...Hate it!

Cobra sounds awful!

Jon said...

Thumbs up dude...

I had this idea on so called relegious tolerance in India...which is a big joke
At the first chance you will slit each other's throat. But since you are afraid of jail, you go around backstabbing him for his relegion...

ANd compromise too was good..especially the burial side...

Hermit said...

You killed your Facebook page to escape cobra???
goood...
Burning down the house to kill a rat!!!???

Anonymous said...

"I know what he was when he had a chance to be different".



thats really a new angle of thought.(for me)

Raja said...

Brilliant stuff, particularly the part on Facebook

The Grunt said...

This post title sounds like an old Jackie Chan movie.

Ditto on the whole Facebook thing.

Jules said...

How about ACCEPTING instead of EXPECTING?

Tys, I'm so impressed with you right now. This is the smartest thing you've ever said. And I just adore you for it. (HUG)

Anoop Nair said...

wow..Tys..accepting instead of expecting...

Tys on Ice said...

@sankoobaba:i agree with you...all this has made the world smaller...it has great potential...but somehow social network sites makes me feel claustrophobic...

u mean to say noone has thought of that before ? (the quote)...damn, an original thought..hmm.

@sonia : yep, he was pretty nasty back then..iam sure hes sobered up and possibly is a great guy now..its just that , the girl he made stand under that drain died couple of years later...and she was a gud friend...so i guess theres no closure here..

@jon : u know something? religion is one thing iam so fucking scared off.. its going to be the cause of so much ugliness and cruelty and deaths..mainly because humans are inherently self serving and has a folk mentality...bad combination...

@hermit : :)...yeah...one reason...but u know me and my dramas.

@anon : i guess its only when you are faced with a possibility of getting away with things that u come face to face with urself..both are there...the question is who is in control..its the pretentions that is a joke..

@raja : iam so glad u agree...

@grunt : it is a jackie chan movie title...i kinda saw myself as a monkey in a snakes shadow...see the parallel?...damn iam so deep..

@jules : awwww jules...thanks man..(blush blush)

@anoop : :) i wish my general manager sees the lite of that when he sees my sales figures