Dont mind me, its just heat stroke.

I could never figure out these Arabs.

If I had oil and lived in a desert, I would have bought Switzerland ,named it UAE and moved my whole brood there. Perhaps send the Swiss down here to pump the oil and deposit the money into my account on a regular basis.

Will it still be called Swiss Accounts, I wonder?

Man its bloody hot here.

I got third degree burns on the bridge of my nose from putting on my sunglasses which had been left in the car. If you hang around parking lots in the afternoon, don't be alarmed to hear blood curdling screams every once in a while.

It doesn't help that Iam bald at the top of my head. Its like a landing site, trimmed all around the edges with short hair.

Somehow while watching Transporter I kind of came to the conclusion that I would like to have the hairstyle that was being sported by Jason Statham.

Now I look like a condom.

Iam one of those strange race of men who does not have any neck. My head is directly connected onto my shoulders. This means that when I wear a tie , I risk gagging myself. On windy days I also run the risk of getting chocked by my chest hair. Its not pleasant when your mouth is that close to your chest.

Thankfully Iam in shape.

Geometrically.

My chest size is equal to my waist size which is equal to my height. Iam a bloody square.

Wife has gone to India for her annual sabbatical from me.

She will be back in a month's time , all rejuvenated so that I can spend the rest of the year crushing her spirit and destroying her beliefs.

Any how, I thought why not get into a more attractive shape while shes gone. So I got my dusty cycle out from amidst the other miscellaneous, unused exercising products which serves other functions than the one they are intended for; much like the expats who work in this country; and hooked it up behind my SUV.

My plan was to go cycling every evening in the Mushriff Park, followed by a swim in the park's swimming pool and then return home to dine on a Cup A Soup and then hit the sack.

In 1 months time, when wife comes home , shes going to be greeted by a rectangle.

The problem now is the 2 bottles of Jack Daniel that graces my booze cabinet.

Being a man who has a tendency to finish what he started, my ideal is keeping me back from striving for health.

The irony! Who would have thunk that being principled might probably kill me?

What am I saying? Sticking to your principles are the best way to get yourself out of the gene pool in today's world.

Oh well, I guess if I drink lots fast enough, I probably will be able to get into my fitness regime in the next 4 days. That's if my liver doesn't decide to do the Madeleine.

But man, its hot here.

Heat sucks.

How much do you think Switzerland cost?

I could never understand why people who live in hot places are dark. Black absorbs heat doesn't it? Why does god always get the basics wrong? First he goes and puts boobs on women...

I feel the whites should move to all the hot areas in the planet. Their skin will reflect off the heat. Iam sure nature intended all dark skinned people to live in colder places. We are biologically more suited for it since we will naturally absorb heat.

So what do you say? Wanna swap countries?