Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Buy your own pack.

There are sheer moments of pure genius in religions that never stops to amaze me.

Today being one of those days when I have a little time in my hand , a smirk on my face and sheer evil intentions in my mind, let me burden you, my dear readers , with some of those characters who have changed the world and beyond with the most absurd of statements and had a whole bunch of idiots living and dying for it .

The 1st prize should definitely go to the chap who invented the caste system. Imagine the persuasive oral skill of the man to actually convince you to dig shit and then to make you believe that this is your god given duty to do so and finally to make sure that all your future generation does the same!

Give the man a standing ovation.

Then there is the bunch who is convinced that there are 40 virgins waiting for them in heaven if they strap a bomb and blow themselves along with some bystanders , if they call their insane activity Jihad.

Come on, this deserves the wave. All together now.

It never fails to amaze me how stupid we really are. When I need some cheering up,I just open the first available holy book . For 100 great stuff it says, there will be 50 of the most stupidest statements ever in it.

Deuteronomy 20:10-17 "When you march up to attack a city, make its people an offer of peace. If they accept and open their gates, all the people in it shall be subject to forced labor and shall work for you. If they refuse to make peace and they engage you in battle, lay siege to that city. When the Lord your God delivers it into your hand, put to the sword all the men in it. As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves. . . . This is how you are to treat all the cities that are at a distance from you and do not belong to the nations nearby.

However, in the cities of the nations the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance, do not leave alive anything that breathes. Completely destroy them—the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites—as the Lord your God has commanded you."

To think, we are supposed to worship this guy. Hell, Iam better than him. What the fuck, my English Teacher in school, Mr.Beal , is better than him.

Ephesians 5:22-24 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

Now, we are talking.

Manu 111.14 " A Brahmin male by virtue of his birth becomes the first husband of all women in the universe"

Fuck me blue! Blanket agreement! No wonder these guys loved to be Hindus.

Manu IV.206 ' Sacrifices performed by women are inauspicious and not acceptable to god. They should therefore be avoided '

I knew it. God is a MCP. Welcome to the fold, buddy.

( more here : )

Personally I think this post should no longer be valid in today's world. Today we all know that religion is a man made culture aimed to suit ourselves at that specific time. It gets scary only when it is prevented from evolving with the population practicing it. Today the above seems amusing and unbelievable, yet these were the codes upon which generations lived and died.

I think religion should always be about people. Not of an unknowable god. We have used that excuse too many times to justify all the crap we have done in the past. God didn't will jack shit. We did.

So today I propose to you a new religion.

I call it Tysism.

Its mine.

You go and find your own.


Chandrika Shubham said...

Its good to know that u find a new religion and are satisfied with it.

Tys on Ice said...

@chandrika : hey , u were supposed to be reviewing my blog...get with it! :)

Who said iam satisfied with it? Wht will be the fun in that? Iam constantly finding flaws in it and fixing it..if change is the inevitable reality there is in this world, dont u think religions shud always be in a flux?

Vidya said...

if your religion is about making merry and worshiping with JD or a good Riesling, count me in!

Sankoobaba said...

another attempt by those who misunderstand hinduism, the beauty of hinduism is that it is not defined by one book or set of rules..
quoting a sentence out of a book makes it out of context.. and easy for misinterpretation.
so let me quote a whole article..

please read the discussion on this link .

i am not saying i support anything mentioned in manusmriti .. not that i have read the whole of it...

and even i hate caste system.. in spite of belonging to so called other backward class..coz i dont know how i am backward..
and this caste system cost me my love..
i dont know which scripture of hinduism you read that made you think..that it is not about people..
every bit of it is.. it has always been about..self improvement..
alas!! either the fanatics misquote and muddle it and all the intellectuals debunk it..
so I quess convincing yourself to dislike religion is fine..telling others to dislike without showing an alternate path..(eg. I think religion should always be about people.) is still misleading people..
if you can show positives of your path after showing negatives of other religious paths will make this post more comprehensive ..

ok..the comment is getting a bit long.. i will stop..


Jon said...

Heyu must have taken gr8 pains to go thru all these religious books:) although i belive most have been qouted in parts...

Yea, its good to question the popular beliefs ...religion have always had the curse of being used by politics to meet their ends meet...

But you are looking for the wrong alternatives.... IS there another alternative for war? Is tehre another alternative for caste systems?

Jon said...

To make things a bit more clear. I would have eliminated my enemy for a more peaceful living. The Palestinians are notorious for getting at each other's throats...

You say you hate caste would you socialize with some one not as rich nor as affluent as you...Caste exists always in one form or another...

May be the bloggers who preach anti-war and anti-stuffs would be the biggest hypocrites

Poornima said...

'Tysism'? Thats lame.

Mine will be called 'Anabolicsteroidity'. The main philosophy of this religion will be the Malayali one, which is: 'Have A Head Bath'. Thats the solution to every problem, as youve probably heard (& heard).

And why should the name have any connection with the philosophy?? None of the others do. And the government will give my religion a tax rebate if it has extra logic or what??


Tys on Ice said...

@vidya: apart from that it will also have no rule expect to choose happiness...u in?

@sankoobaba: gimme a break man...i care too hoots abt any religion...i have spend a greater part of my life studying it, practicsing and finally getting rid of it from my life...yet it sticks on like the stink of shit that i had stepped upon long ago...but when it comes to oragnized religion gimme hindusim anyday, mainly becos theres place for a person like me in it...not that i particularly care..but it does help when u dont have to worry abt the possible loss of ur head...

i never said that religion is not abt people...of course it is...what iam saying is that it has always been abt the people not abt a god...the god too was created for the people by the people...the whole thing played ( still plays) a significant role in our daily life...wht i wud like is for people to realize that not.. fool themselves into believing that its all for some voyeristic white beared chap sitting up in the sky...

Iam not offering any alternative...theres too many things out there already to seperate us..dont want to add onto the point is simple...theres nothing in the created nature that is exactly the same..every single grain is dont u think that our paths also will be different? that our means to understanding will be different?..that our enlightenment, salvation, definition of peace, perception of a heaven ...all different? why cant we embrace that difference? that i will have my own religion, my own philosophy that serves only me...the day i push it and try to peddle it to others i do a great diservice to mankind...theres no negatives or positives...the only area i have and will always have a problem with is when ur way starts interfering with my way...i feel religions shud learn and let live...not religions , the people who practices those religions..

thanks for that gave me a chance to be a little for clear abt my own thoughts...thanks

@jon : u bet! actually it is easy...all i had to do was google ' scary religious quotes'...:)

to ur question: why on earth shud there be an alternative to war and caste? But let me abt no claim to land? how abt a world with no boundries where we collectively use the natural resources, use the global income to ensure the logistics of getting the resources to places that lacks it? how abt making the people so co dependent on each other that war becomes self defeating? Pipe dreams? maybe but theres no reason it may not happen in the future...

but i see only one thing that will delay this : religion. As long as there is a belief system that thrives on seperating even while preaching unity, we will remain in this conflict...

wht we need is a intergalactic attack...we need the aliens to kick our arse so that we can put aside all problems and come together...why u think i have a neon sign on my roof that says : Aliens Eat This!

I never said I hate caste system...i dont think its relevant..atleast not to me...havent really had anything happen to me becoz of its existance neither adds or reduces anyone..You are right of course, we will always find some sort of differences to leverage ourself...its afterall in our nature...but think abt how this wud have been introduced in its conception? How wud u make people buy into it?...its sheer genius.

@poori : Theres a tax rebate? Damn. Whats wrong with Tysism? If u dont like my religion I wud declare moonygatus on you ( Thats where my followers will moon u when ever we see u)

Poornima said...

Tys: My followers will promptly declare 'Hahad'on you. Its much scarier than 'Jihad',& involves the dreaded beware!

So just go & thalakulikku, moonygator wussyboy!


pallavi said...

I know!! It sucks all religion, jihad everything is BS. I believe that u are ur own GOD. You got answers for all ur got solutions for all ur problems. Its you....Meditate. Now dont follow any guru...just think and u will know the answer to everything.

Some one said to me...realization cannot happen through the art of living might happen at the traffic signal. wow!! right?

Well ur very well as should have covered more topics may be...good luck btw.

and hey now that we know whats the ultimate point of life, why not start an ashram and u be a guru...howzzat?

Tys on Ice said...

@pallavi : Funny u shud say this. 3 days ago i had an interesting conversation with my son (6yrs old)...we were in the car going for his swimming class...he was sitting at the back immersed in his Gameboy...tiny thumbs hacking away at those tiny buttons...having nothing better to do, i casually asked him :

Do know who god is?

'you'..still immersed in his gameboy


' god is inside me...'

'ohhh how old is your god?'

'its old as me...your god is your age...'

'so do u see ur god?'

'acha! he is inside me no? so how can i see him?'

'ah, ok...fair what happens whn you die?'

'nothing...i will make myself again.'

thru out he is will twiddling away at the gameboy..

6 years old and he got it...i just have to make sure he doesnt cloud that with these so called second hand truths..i just have to make sure i leave that part of his alone...

Vidya said...

i'm in :D

Vidya said...

i'm in :D

Jules said...

Well, Tysism has GOT to be better than what you posted in here! WTF? Are those for real?

pallavi said...

we too must have grown up that way...but never realised. And we learn from our children. and may be thats why children are called Gods. How true are these things...seee everything has got duty and meaning in life. i know i know......... too much of philosophy hogaya.forgive me.

Bramha said...

hey tys

how r u??
let me give u something to add to that list

this is the civilisation we live in ;-)

Tys on Ice said...

@vidya : was that an echo?

@jules : WAS real...fortunately people became larger than the imposed religion and changed it, as they, directives, laws and rules are very time oriented..they serve a purpose for that particular period...its the natural order of things to evolve...any philosophy or a religion that does not do so runs the risk of stagnation , which can then lead to distortions or worse , into something henious, which to me means against humanity...

@pallavi : :)...If gods were like children, there are days when i wud spank them hard..

@brahma : wowie! ...thing is, i went thru the comments of the readers in that article...i have a feeling that a tongue in cheek comment have been misinterpreted by the media...but i do have to cheer for the saudi ladies...but the point to note is that this is coming in a newspaper from an islamic country...this the point iam trying to make...all religion will have to evolve with the people who practices it...these discussion and points of view are a necessary part of this evolution..problem is when discussions are stopped by saying : God says so! ..

pramod said...

another hard and harsh tys spell.
the boldness and knowledge awesome.
there is a song, ring out the old, ring in the new. (something like that)

Anonymous said...


It's actually 72 virgins not 40. But in my case, I would rather get 2 whores, then you know what you are getting at the end. :) :) :)...

In the case of Deuteronomy 20:10-17, all I can do is laugh and I am sure Mr Beal is not as bad as Mr Moore.

Ephesens 5:22-24, I like this one, I think all the married women should be given this one on the day of wedding in frame. :)

Now is the time to call me bastard. :) :)

I love god. :O Thank god.