Sunday, February 6, 2011

Smokin'

Now Iam the kinda guy who will not judge you for your persumed vices. Hell, Iam not even sure which of the things people do are vices or versa (couldnt resist, though it makes no grammatical sense). So it kind of get to me when I see the frantic waving of handkerchieves and opening of windows when I light up my cancer stick, in areas Iam, by law, permitted to smoke.

Hell, it aint fart.

If second hand smoke bothers you, I wonder how you react to a kiss, if you were aware that colds, glandular fever (kissing disease), herpes infection, warts, hepatitis B and meningococcal disease may all be transmitted by kissing.

Remember that the next time you pucker up.

Have you seen the area where a smoker is allowed to smoke?

I mean, heres a habit that brings in millions of dollars to the government, and you would expect some sort of courtesy rather than be treated like some sort of freak show.

Why on earth would anyone ban smoking in a coffee shop? Or for that matter in a pub?

I mean people who goes there already give two fucks about living life like an organic pumpkin, they live like a real human should; dangerously.

How in hell does someone drink a coffee or a larger without the accompanied toxic intake?

Thats like having Pamela over for dinner and deciding to spend the night watching porn together. Hey, Iam sure that works for you but why dont you sit at home to do your stuff?

What I dont understand is why can't we have coffee shops and pubs that has licence for smoking , while others that caters to moral sniffles can have establishments which do not allow smoking?

There! That my friends, is called liberty, pro-choice, anti- putting-your-finger-up-my-nose-to-pull-out-your-snot kind of freedom.

But nooooo. You will sue the shit out of the smokers joint because you want to sit amid smokers and want us to respect your bubble of air. You , my dear, are like what we mallus call a dog that lies on the haystack; you wont eat it and you wont let the cows eat it.

Let us get the logic straight. When you walk into Dam Square at Amsterdam, you are going to be confronted with ladies in various stages of undress standing behind windows . Now if this bothers you, theres the Van Gogh museum nearby.

What I mean is, certain things go hand in hand.

Pubs and coffee shops goes well with cigarettes. Let it be.

If the smoke bothers you, go outside. Iam sure we can arrange service there for you. But wave another handkercheif and it will be you that goes out of the window.

Look, like I had told earlier in some long ago post, Iam all for raising hell against the moron who lights up in an elevater or in a train. Infact I find the fucks who smoke in public transports and public places needs to be put in their place; outside. But I draw a line when someone tells me I cant smoke in a coffee shop or a pub.

Now you are pissing on my territory.

So heres what I will do. When you come to my house, I wont give a rats arse if you are pregnant, have an allergy, wants to die with a lung as pink as a salmon or that you just cant stand the filthy habit. I will light up.



So there!

Photo courtesy : http://mathurakalauny.blogspot.com/

12 comments:

Sankoobaba said...

I hate habit of smoking that some people have..I hate the habit of drinking that some people have..I hate the habit of crossing a busy intersection talking on phone..I hate women who don't know how to drive/ride and yet show me finger for honking at them..but then I dont hate people in general..I just hate when people ride/drive like complete lame brained mutated zombies..ok. I am cribbing.. I just had a bad day on way home from work...

Poornima said...

Most of the habits we defend vehemently are habits that we know we CANT forsake. There’s either not enough will or not enough will power. I know all about this because:
I hate going to doctors, & I hate to exercise. I mean, even if I have blocked arteries. Even if I’m told I’ll die TOMORROW, but can magically escape death if I exercise for 30mins TODAY. My friends can vouch for the fact that I’d take an auto to the next building. I didn’t even know what the hell a pap smear entailed (& I’m 37) until one enlightening day last week when M told me. It’s pathetic.

My husband says I might as well start snorting cocaine. It’s the same thing, at the end of the day. True. I REALLY want to change this, but I just can’t seem to gather the whateveritis it takes & do what needs to be done. I’m stung whenever its pointed out to me & am sorely tempted to fight for my cause of ‘I No Go Doctor, I No Run on Treadmill (I run AWAY)’ with the same ammunition used by you.

But I’m a woman, see (which you, poor Tys chetta, are sadly not). I recognize a futile case staring me in the face, so I zip it. Okay?

Tys on Ice said...

@sankoobaba: iam beginning to understand the suffix baba in ur name..cribbing is cribbing whichever form it takes, eh? hope the following days fare a lot better.

@poori : Chechi, it aint abt will power and other such deepak chopra nonsenses. Basically people do whatever is important to them...so a person who goes and works out wants to and do they do..if it is a half assed want, it will show in their doing...see? nothing to do with will power..

all these magical properties people claim which exist is to create more division and more excuses..i lack will power, its in my gene etc..another method of passing the buck..god too is such a tool..

what i want to say, poori, is that if u dont feel like doing what u dont want to do, dont do it...thats what makes u, u...so u dont wanna do pap smear ( why u wud want to smear your pap is beyond me), dont do it...maybe ur pap will thank u for it one day...

so the next time people who wishes to white wash themselves by blackening another, points it out as a flaw..tell them : so is walking on 2 legs and pretending to be human..

do wht u want...if that kills u in the end, so be it...theres no guarentee that going to the doc will make u immortal.

cheers.

Gunnerz' Forever!!! said...

tys...been following ur blog for the last 2 yrs thou i havent commented more than maybe once..

bt plz plz ...stick to wat ur the best at...sarcasm, witty stuff n wicked humor...this aint ur forte at all :(

u have no clue abt the number of times i have been able to successfully use lines from ur blog for well, attraction-seeking purposes:)

bring back wat we love the best about u...dont dont dont get into serious shit..yes, i mean it :)

Hip Grandma said...

if you want me to take your side i am sorry. smoking is injurious to health and it is time you cut down on your cancer pipe. I've lost my dad to cancer and I was not even 15 years old at the time. Not that I am able to do much about my tobacco chewing better half but I do lecture him on the dangers and I do the same to you too. I am sorry if you don't like it.

Poornima said...

I think youre wrong. But youll give me such a drubbing if I explain why. Shiverr!! :-)

Tys on Ice said...

@gunnerz : atleast it made u come outta the closet and comment...comeon, same crap for 2 years..wont u get tired?..allow my indulgence...never been good at maintaining anything fixed for too long...maybe its evolving , maybe devolving...whtever it is, stay arnd for the journey..who knows, u might get to lift some more lines..

@hipgrandma : whats there not to like being lectured? sorry abt ur dad but i still maintain that as long as one is not harming anyone else other than themselves ( which again is a judgement we have no business making), one shud be allowed to do that without having to feel guilty..of course iam wrong..and of course u will make me stand on the bench for that..but whats the fun in agreeing with everything becoz it seems the right thing to do?

@poori : and when has that ever stopped u?

Jon said...

True...it beats me... its the beer and cigarette tht govt. increase tax every year and no one protest

I dont smoke or drink, but my heart goes out for u guys!!
And now smoking is considered more offensive than drinks...donno

Gunnerz' Forever!!! said...

never good at maintaining anythin for too long?:) who u kidding tys?:)

1. dislike for the cat
2. love for JD
3. total distaste for exercise
4. pride about being a malayali
5. that uncanny wit:)

n the list can go on:) i am jus hoping its neither evolution or otherwise but just one of those times like the recession when everythin becomes gloomy:)

am jus hoping u get back that "touch" n make every1 smile rather than making people's thoughts become more inflated than pamela's 36DD's ( or is it 34?? i havent been tracking it lately:))

keep the smoke coming:)

cheers

Sonia said...

Hmm do I care about people smoking in pubs. - no
But Tys, I don't know how much you smoke but I saw an favorite Uncle die a painful death from lung cancer but he was a chain smoker for over 20 years so if you are headed anywhere towards that level of consumption, stop smoking!!

tys said...

@jons : u r rite...i defy one day the public to say that we will no longer take the filthy money from cigis...but no...u need people to kill themselves so that the rest may live...civilization my friend sucks.

@gunnerz : man, i really hope u r a woman..coz now i found a reason to live :)

@sonia : nah..no chain smoking..unless iam drinking...i kinda rest my case.

Anonymous said...

@ TYS

I think smoking is disgusting habbit. Have you heard of secondary smoking TYS. That's people who don't smoke but they get the same illness due to the one's that smokes in the same surroundings.

This is not about your civil liberties, but it's collective responsibility that you and I must have toward others, for example like driving, where you can't just drive the way you like or think it's ok, so it's bit like that.

This is where compromise comes in the equation again, and I know you don't like this, but we will all have to do TYS. Civilization my friend sucks and that's life dude.

HARRY