Sunday, May 8, 2011

Tom Foolery.

Isnt it grand being a man?

I mean the standing up to pee bit and scratching what we want when we want, are just fantastic perks. The way we can laugh off a fart or a loud burp. After all we are men and thats our birth right.

Isnt it great being a man, in a world, of our making, expecting everything around us to revolve around our fears and thoughts? Sun does shine from the great male butt.

We cover our woman up to protect her from people like us. We are truly the best of gods creation.

Sometimes , I look at myself in the mirror and get a hard on. Its hard not to when you are a man.

Look Iam not for the women.

Hell, I dont even understand them. I dont think Iam required to.

Personally I think pms is an overrated thing. If I had to inevitably deal with a particular issue every month for a period of approximately 40 years, I would learn to deal with it instead of treating 4 days of a month as some sort of get out of jail free card.

But of course this comes from a guy whose understanding of pain was a year with piles and a life time of hangovers. I think that qualifies. Why? Iam a man and I say so.

Pregnancy? Dont even go there. I wouldnt be expected to understand something that I have no way of knowing. But carrying a baby inside your stomach isnt a big deal, neither, I believe ,is being able to stand up while peeing .So this great man - woman divide based on who is better is a bit of joke for me. I just dont get it.

Look, my take is this. None of us can claim credit or discredit for what we are born as. It just is.

But I do have to admire the way man ruled the roost.

The guy totally rocks!

Throw in a train compartment labelled women only, allote them 4 seats in a 75 seater bus, give them some representation in the government, put up an extra counter and call it women only and there you have it; our version of equality.

If this is nothing sort of genius , I dont know what is.

Throw them some bones. Then pay them lesser for the same type of work. Create a society where a woman has to struggle to reach anywhere where we can stride in.

A society where a woman chooses to kill her own infant daughters because we have made her accept the belief that man child is somehow better. Brilliance.

A society where the mother in law, assists her son to kill her daughter in law , a role she herself once adorned. Her fault? Hardly.Look closer, you will see a man's hand.

If she is raped, it must be her fault. If she is harassed, she must have asked for it. If she succeeds, she must have slept her way there. If her children fails, it must be her fault. If the husband strays, its because she didnt know how to keep her man. If she is left with an unborn child by a spineless lover, shes a whore. If she aborts, shes a killer. If she keeps the child, shes the mother of a bastard.

The smartest thing we did was when we pitted them against each other and then invented the coolest saying : A woman is a woman's worst enemy.

We even got them believing it. Can I just shake my own hands?

I dont get it. Why such complexities? why dont we just call her god and blame the whole thing on her?

Lets face the truth, if the world affairs where left to women, I think the maximum we will have to worry about will be about putting down the toilet seat.

Have you noticed something strange around you?

Where are all the tom boys gone?

You recall the time when we were kids, there used to be atleast one girl who did everything we did, sometimes better than us? That was the times when it was cool to be a man. Being a man meant somehow better.

Look around you. No tom boys. Just a lot of metro sexual men.

Nature is turning the tables boys, better make the effort to treat them like equals and put a fucking lid on understanding them. You cant. You are a man and the only reason you say that is to get inside their pants. Treat them like you would like to be treated, just dont be a man about it.

Iam onto me.


Jules said...

I used to be a tom boy.. but it wasn't necessarily cuz I liked doing man things. I just liked the boys. At the bottom of it all is the attraction between genders and that's what rules it all. I did get a nice visual of you getting a hard on naked in the mirror though. Thanks for that, man!

Anonymous said...

So, so very well written esp "If she is raped, it must be her fault. If she is harassed, she must have asked for it. If she succeeds, she must have slept her way there. If her children fails, it must be her fault. If the husband strays, its because she didnt know how to keep her man. If she is left with an unborn child by a spineless lover, shes a whore. If she aborts, shes a killer. If she keeps the child, shes the mother of a bastard"

Btw I think ur mum n wife have done a fantabulous job of raising u :)


WannabeWriter said...

Great post, buddy! You just added a few more to your female fan following! :)

Poornima said...

Heres the emotion that I want to convey to you: 'Thank you, I wish every man on earth would tack this post to the wall of his cave, but I want to kick your ass from here to the Gobi Desert'

Sly & backhanded, thats what you are Tys!! Sly & backhanded!! :-)


tys said...

@jules : i hope u enjoyed it...becoz honestly its not a pretty sight

@gayatri : i would love to see your response for the next post where i plan to turn the table :)
I hope u were not happy abt this post becoz u r a woman, becoz then u have missed the point..i have a certain thing abt fighting for the underdog, thats all it was...rite now i feel u guys have the raw deal and the only way to change that is for us men to accept that and treat u as a person rather than as a that can happen i dont know..its just wrong, thats all...btw, there are a lot of men who had raised me too..sometimes i think girls play this gender card a lil too much too.

@wannabe : i hope not pal...why does this post make women think that iam on their side? all i said was u guys are being had by us..that much is true...but i like being a kinda works for me..

@poori : haha! u thought so too didnt u? i mean, i was afraid that people are going to think i actually care just becoz i happened to see whats really going on...kinda amusing really...its a lot like dealing with an addiction..first i had to acknowledge it...after that i intend to just ignore it..i have no inclination to change this world...

:) i shud be worried, u r onto me.

Sankoobaba said...

to get equality..
both sides have to want it..
you cant clap with one hand..
both sides are at fault..

tys said...

@shanks: the only equality tht can exist is in oppurtunities, work culture, rights, justice...infact in everything tht exists now tht has a human mind and hand in it...nature has not intended us to be equal in our physiological or phsychological differences...and to make efforts or demand a change in tht regard, seems futile...there can be, of course an empathy..but never a true will always try to dominate...either as a gender or in some other ways...

Manasi said...

Tys... this post was so unexpected. With the 2 jokers of the Royal Circus getting married and Osama's stairway to heaven all happening in the span of 1 week, i was so waiting to hear your fueled imaginative take on atleast one of those... :-( but i am not disappointed.

I suppose the concept of "women" is as troublesome to you as it is to me. I am a woman who used to be a Tom-boy, probably still am! I literally have to stop myself from walking ahead of my husband and giving him directions and trying to beat him every possible point. After i ceased to the Tom boy, i became the Angry-Young-Woman and generally had a gala time making the male in-laws of my glorious extended family squirm by exposing their dual-nature in front of their folks... and also went head-on with my very influential bosses and won that game too.

Somewhere down the line, i ceased to be that too. Now i see myself as a genderless person driven by my instincts and enjoying my self-imposed solitude. I am happy in my skin. Period.

Essentially, the man-woman divide is omnipresent because we humans are always trying to build patterns and fill our time with innane activities surrounding it. If one can escape gender bashing/glorification, our modes of entertainment (movies, tv serials, music, novels, magazines will lose subscription in hoardes). And we wont know what to do in those unoccupied hours... You tell me?

Most people need the devil so they can hate it and keep themselves busy...


diyadear said...

Coming from a man this is indeed a great read.. I was with u till 3/4 the of the post..
But the part of the turn table.. well i dont believe it.
BUt im glad that u take all the blame and are now worrying about paying the price!!!

Raveena said...

A mother in law who kills her daughter in law is deluded, weak, possibly insane and completely ignorant. She is to blame. Society and circumstances are to blame.

Not everything can be pinned down on men, but it would be a perfect world if that were possible.

tys said...

@manasi : very well said..most part of my life goes on without any awarenes of being a man or some gender based thingy...i dont know how its for a woman...untill my being a man is thrown at my face , it never actually existed...

i hope we do go beyond this...its kinda irritating..and somehow limiting.

@diyadear : iam not particularly worried abt paying any price...iam having a great time, standing at the sidelines watching...

@raveena : ever wondered what makes a woman do that to another woman? u r right of do need to be accountable for ones actions, no matter what the reasons are...for reason are mere excuses...but ever gone to the source? wht makes a woman who has donned the same role, do the same that cud hve been done to her?

but this is not just a gender thing? we still do kill someone's child and have a problem when ours is killed, in the name of war...

R-A-J said...

Hey Tys, awesum post!! One of the best written posts I've seen... u kinda took controversy by the horns n put it on its head.. only u cn pull off sumthin like this..Pure magic, Tys.. Offended.. Amused... Amazed...Superlike !!!:)

Anonymous said...

Can't we carry on miliking it until we can? and what's wrong with us trying to get in to her pants? This is our gods given right man. :)


Anonymous said...

damn I can't spell to save my life
what the hell