Thursday, October 27, 2011

Gay pride and me

Having studied in a boy’s only school for a major part of student life, I would have thought that I will be fine with gays.

I am fine with gays. But I think thats because I don’t know any.

Of course we did have the occasional touching feeling and in some case boys who went about as couples in our school, looking back I think it was more a case of making do with available resources. And like prisoners, when they stepped out of the restrictive situation, everything fell back in the right places and things went where they are meant to go. It seemed like a temporary lapse, nothing more.

Except even now, I shudder when I drop the soap in the bath and bend down to pick it up. Hopefully it will pass with the unavoidable Alzheimer’s that is due to make its presence felt in the next 10 years or so.

Age brings along with it certain mellowness. I would have loved to say wisdom but that seems to be elusive. You tend to recognize that most of your ideals and prejudices were all handed down to you and that you been just chewing someone else’s cud. Being a jerk, I tend to avoid the popular thought that is prevalent just because I can.

I do realize that now it’s all about right of freedom to do what you feel like. I have not problems with that. As long as it’s not my arse on the line, I don’t have any problem who is shagging who.

But by god, am I curious.

I want a gay friend. I have so much to ask.

You do too, don’t you?

That’s the problem when you start patronizing people. You make them into strangers. You might think you are on their side but your very support is the wall that separates you and them. Because in reality, your acceptance doesn’t require any expression. And if that acceptance is there, they would not be feeling like freaks.

Personally I find naked men nasty. Especially if I find one in my bed. Sex would probably be the last thought on my head. Whatever doubts I have had about my sexuality disappeared the day I was introduced to Adv.Anjali in the Debonair magazine in school. I was hooked. Fat bottom girls made my world go round since.

Then came today.

Everyone’s coming out of the closets. Hell, I think there are more people in there than clothes. There are parades. Sexuality is celebrated. It is now shown in mainstream movies.Basically people’s sexuality will soon become a non issue. Its really great.

Nope. You still can’t fuck a goat.

Yes, I know you think that it’s unfair but if you wait maybe a decade longer, we perhaps will get our head around to it. Yes, we do see your point. Yes, we do notice that the goat is really attached to you but somehow it’s not bringing good vibes to me buddy. That’s my food you are fucking.

I really think sexuality should be a non issue. Like the color of peoples skin. I mean, it’s really stupid if you think about it. It’s amazing how it lasted so long as it did. But then stupid ideas have a tendency to stick. Eh, god? You concur?

But for all the gays out there, I know absolutely no one. I mean personally. I have no gay friends. Which is a shame. I do get hit on once in a while. It’s kind of flattering. And I feel very weird when I say that I just want us to be friends. And the sound track in my head is going Man, feel like a woman...

We did have a college friend who was very feminine. Then we realized that he is a bhartanatyam dancer and a real sneaky womanizer. He catches them unaware. They all assume he is gay until too late. Almost like Jaws.

Well the truth is it would really not matter if my friends are straight or gay (why can’t it be straight or zigzag?). The way I am going, I doubt if I have any friends left.

Thing is I believe that a gay friend will be my ticket to finally understanding women. Of course this very inspired thinking came from my assumption that since a gay is a man who likes men, then it stands to reason he will be like a woman.

Brilliant deduction I must say.

Now to find a gay who will hopefully help me with this and will not try and seduce me.

This brings me to the next question:

Can a gay and straight be just friends?

Watch this space for the answer to that question.

Gay? Call me.


Jules said...

Tys. Tys. Tys.

As long as you refer to people who prefer the same sex as "a gay", your phone won't be ringing.

I love all people, regardless of race or sexuality, religion, etc. It's wonderful having insights as to how diversity finds commonality. I have many friends who are gay. If you want to find some, just go to your local "gay bar" and introduce yourself. It's just as easy as meeting anyone else. :)

As for them having insights into what makes women tick, I think that might actually help you. So yes, do go find a friend who's gay and enjoy their knowledge and power!

tys said...

@jules : really? they dont like being called gay? i kinda thought about sounded almost like a tag...does it sound rude? well, it was unintentional...and i dont want to be friends with a hypersensitive gay anyway...

there are no gay bars in my part of town and if there was i think it will be kind of out there for me to walk into one and say : hey, i just want to be friends.


now that i have wished it, it will come to be...and then finally...i will understand women.

yeah! i will rule the heaven and earth....bwahahahaha ( evil villain laugh soundtrack to be played here)

Sankoobaba said...

"You tend to recognize that most of your ideals and prejudices were all handed down to you and that you been just chewing someone else’s cud."

superbly put!!

"Almost like Jaws.'



i don't think gays can help to understand women.. whatever picture they may paint will be as flawed as ours is...

Jules said...

No, no, no... they don't like being called "a" gay. As if it's a whole different race or something. LOL

If you need to know about women, you can ask one. I'm available for a rapid fire round of questions.

tys said...

@sankoobaba: iam only painfully aware how futile it is to believe we can really understand another, when all we can ever hope to achieve is a semblance of empathy, which will be flawed since it will be perceived through our own filters.

so the attempt itself is something which is unattainable and precisely the sort of things they make us attempt...


tys said...

@jules : i understand the was the awkward silence i have experienced several times when i dine on my own foot in parties....shud have recognized it...

i was about to ask how they shud be addressed but then i realized that iam not identified by how i sleep with...u have , my dear , made a great tell me, how wud they like to be addressed? i mean when iam opening a conversation about their sexual orientation?

The Grunt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Grunt said...

This video clip answered all my questions about gayness.

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Jules said...

Hey Buddy?

Umm.. excuse me...what's your name?

Welll hellllooooo there!!

Pardon me, are those Gucci?

Excuse me, I'm desperate to understand fashion, please help me...

Really kind sir, you MUST tell me where you've gotten your hair styled...

Now YOU look like a man I need to get to know...

Wait, that last one might get you into some trouble. Ixnay that one.

Jules said...

Grunty... do you have a crush on Ewan McGregor like that comedian? OMG. That was a funny clip!

Cocktail Party said...

@tys your post added to my preexisting confusion about gays ;)
to be frank I have nothing against them but I fail to understand their orientation

I have known few gays who act like bisexuals...because I feel they are afraid that they would not be accepted if they come out in open.

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