Sunday, November 22, 2009

Read my tits

You see that guy who walks down the street carrying the burden of perpetual guilt? Thats me. Guilt is my middle name.

What is the required etiquette when confronted with words like ; Juicy, Angel or Booty printed in bold cursive script on the seat of a tight fitting track pants which is attached to a female form?

Are you allowed to read it?

Will it be deemed lecherous?

Being from the printing industry , I read things. Its kind of an automatic thingy. There are no thought process behind it , its just a conditioning, almost similar to our other curious habit of feeling the grammage of the paper of any magazine that we read.You see that guy who is going orgasmic in that dentist waiting room with that Vogue magazine? Printer.

I read. I cant help it. Then I catch myself looking at the writing and realizing the area of hoarding. Instant guilt.Its worse when Iam with my wife. The chills have given me frostbites.

Then there are those T-shirts.




What do you do, Jack, what do you do?

I read. Then I start blushing.

Thing is I think I offend the wearer when I stop to catch up on my literary fix. This is what I don't understand. What am I supposed to do? Pretend that you don't have something interesting printed on your t-shirt and that your breasts are just incidental?

I asked my wife about this. Yes, Iam suicidal.

There was a drop in temperature and I think some parts of my extremities are cryogenic ally frozen.

Wisest thing to do will be to keep my eyes on the ground.

So I decided on the next best thing.

Dark glasses.

My question is not about why a woman should wear something like this if she doesn't want to be stared at. In fact I think women should be able to walk around naked ,if they want,without having to worry about how shes going to be perceived. The real question is why the fuck am I feeling guilty if Iam only reading?

I have been to a party once where a family friend of ours claimed that girls are asking for it when they wear mini skirts. I had to hold back my wife from ripping that moron to shreds. Question is, why does what a woman wear ,be about men?

You know what I think? Maybe I should keep my eyes on the ground until I learn to read the writing without seeing what its written upon. Then perhaps, they will not be offended and I wont be feeling guilty.

The question , my friend is, do you see words printed across boobs or boobs on which words are printed? Does boobs even figure? Is the boobs even there? See? Its a profound situation; almost religious.

I tried bringing this up with my wife. Yes, Iam persistently suicidal.

She felt that its not helping that Iam going over grounds that has already been overcome and covered. She feels posts like this may evoke some sniggers in some quarters but overall it just pushes back all what women have achieved in the last 100 years. To summarize, she is in fact telling me that Iam back on the couch for the next 2 weeks on the warrior diet; which essentially is how the Spartans ate, only in the night. No wonder the bastards were in a bad mood all the time.

Thing is; my wife is right. I hate to admit that. But once in a few years, she does stumble upon the truth and Iam man enough to give her the credit. Okie, I also like to have my meals on time.

So here is the Tys fact on the issue.

You could wear a abhaya and you will still be gaped at. You could wear nothing and you will still get gaped at. Gaping at women is some sort of evolutionary precondition hotwired into our genes; it has nothing to do with your clothes or lack of it. So you might as well use all that gaping and get the men to read something while they gape.

At least it will be an exercise for both our extremities. In short you make it educational. How else can you get a message across, when all else have failed?

This one kind of tells it all :



* all pictures courtesy of http://www.tshirthell.com/hell.shtml

226 comments:

1 – 200 of 226   Newer›   Newest»
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Lucy lighting up the world said...

You could wear nothing and you will still get gaped at. I like that.

Vinesh said...

Never a truer post was blogged! I have so often felt the exact same way.. You really got to work on getting rid of that guilt. Moreover, print or no print, nothing wrong in looking what's not concealed.

Much needed post in today's troubled times.

Madhumita said...

You're assuming that the wearer is going to be offended if you look - not necessarily true.

And cryogenically frozen?? I think not :D

Anonymous said...

tys girls like to make guyz feel guilty for doing nothing! dont fall for it.

and how does it matter if nothing is being printed on the tshirt? u would still chk it out!

Another Blogger said...

Imagine this: a girl staring at another girl's boobs - obviously trying to figure out what is written. Believe me it is not accepted with a smile either. I have been in your shoes, I totally understand what you mean when you mention reading without thinking about what it's written on, and I am 'straight'! Think of the bright side - at least you dont have your sexual orientation in question!!

Shruti said...

hahahhahahaha!!!
that's the price for being born male :P
But seriously.. u'r worrying for nothing. they're wearing it coz they dont mind being stared at (uh!!!)

Shachi said...

LOL! love the last pic :)

Bramha said...

If something is written, read and get on with uer life. Man ...u must be really bothered coz you probably read more than whats written... But if you are thinking what you ought not to be thinking or what u think should not be wothy of more thoughts, then maybe you have a dirty mind, chetta.
( just pulling uer leg hihih...)
I enjoyed the post in the era of FCUK, Mango (es) t-shirts and others out there...

Blue said...

lolzzz...i love the way u think. n i wonder what convinces ur wife not 2 kill u :D

eunoia said...

a very honest post by a very honest blogger i see...liked what i read here.
men stare. no matter what. you just have to be a woman and they'll look. always known that. nice to know a man who says that out loud.
:) nice blog. keep writing.

Lata said...

if someone's making a statement, they expect to be read/heard, don't they? so offload a li'l bit of your guilt and rest your poor shoulders:)

Lata said...

if someone's making a statement, they expect to be read/heard, don't they? so offload a li'l bit of your guilt and rest your poor shoulders:)

Jules said...

All tshirts that have print on them are bought for the fact that when the person wears the shirt they want it to be read. If the print is on the tits, it's totally intentional. It's not that the chick is trying to make you cheat on your wife. If a guy was wearing a tshirt that was painted on and showed his nipps and his biceps, I'm sure even your wife might catch a glimpse? I know I sure as hell would!! Clothes are just clothes, whether they have writing on them or not. That tshirt in the image there was meant to be provocative regardless of any writing, and women who wear tiny clothes like that are begging to be gawked at. Even a woman would look at her!!!

veryordinarygirl said...

so fucking true...

V said...

with my latest post as proof....how else would i learn to make stuff like that?....go ahead...justify it ;)

Hip Grandma said...

You're alive still??then it means that Madhu is generous.Now, now don't pretend to be guilty when you're not. I've heard men say that beauty is meant to be seen and appreciated.Then why this cock and bull story of feeling guilty, eh?Women like to be looked at and men oblige them.That's all there is to it.

clever indian said...

Well if someone wears that kind of dresses, she either doesn't mind being stared at or she is actually wishing to attract some attention. So either way there isn't a point in feeling guilty.

Niall young said...

I least I have an excuse for staring 'I'm an artist' and I call it 'research'. say with all that guilt, you actually sound like a Roman Catholic.

Great post my friend...!

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Tys on Ice said...

@anon: thnks for the tip. really.

@lucy: u do , do u? :)

@vinesh : the guilt is not in the reading, its in the percieved.

@mads : now u beginning to worry me girl.

@anon : truth is i probably wont..iam an arse man...its a safer perference...atleast the object of your admiration isnt watching you doing the watching..

@another blogger : :)...damn, it must be worse for you guys..

@shruti : i hope so...anyways, i have developed this speed reading thingy...so iam down there and up there so fast that noone will notice.

@shachi : me too..

@brahma : i do have a dirty mind..its so filthy that sometimes I sniff Ariel.

@blue : i have pondered on the same many of times.Luck?

@eunoia: honest? thanks.

@lata : done deal..tmw onwards, iam going out there and read breasts all day.

@jules : iam not complaining...iam just asking a way to look without being seen like a lech..speed reading is the key..

@veryordinarygirl : u bet.

@v : man, that femme fatale is now my pin up model...

@hip grandma: yep..but dont know for how long...i have noticed her spending long hours in the internet going thru pharmacutical sites...my tea has started tasting weird..

@clever indian : how clever of you!!! but seriously, thats one mean blog u have :)

@niall : its all that boarding school's doing...research eh?...hmm..since most of ur paintings have girls with frilly panties, iam just curious how u manage researching that...we need to talk.

@anon: aw , shuddup.

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